In the third grade (the most exciting time of my life), we had a project in which we wrote cautionary advice to trick-or-treaters on paper skeletons. The skeletons were decorated with typical third-gradey paraphernalia, such as glitter and sequins (and why the hell shouldn't skeletons be all broadway?)

The other kids in my class chose advice such as "Don't eat unwrapped candy!" and "Make sure to check your candy before you eat it!"

I, however, decided upon, "Make sure your costume isn't too long so you don't trip!"

Why did my mom have to laugh at me?