The worst is when you see a girl you haven't seen in a long time, and she was always the prettiest one, and you see her again, and instead of being really fat or miserable with children or having a black eye or her vomiting in a bathroom because she's clearly bulimic, she is still happy and fun and successful and still the prettiest one.

Hey, can I make a request? I'm all for practicality, but can people stop wearing balaclavas? Because what am I supposed to think when I'm walking up a stairwell from the subway at 10:30 in the evening and I pass a dude wearing one of those things? Is it wrong that I almost CRAPPED MY PANTS?