When my alarm clock put me in a chokehold and belched some morning-radio commercials into my face today, a man (whose voice has probably made his wife infertile) screamed the following query:
"HAVE YOU EVER WONDERED WHY SANTA'S HAIR IS WHITE?"

NO?????????

One of life's simple pleasures:

Giving someone the finger when they are perfectly mobile, and yet! still take the elevator to the second floor.