I would like to take this opportunity to commend white blood cells, the knights of our immune system!

When I start worrying endlessly, needlessly (as I so often do), I think I need to ask myself, "Will this matter when I am an old man?"

The other night, 9:45 pm, I was walking home from the grocery store (I wanted to make some mad fajitas). I was about a block away from my boyfriend's place when a guy shouts, "DO YOU NEED THOSE GLASSES?"
"UM. WHAT?"
"Nevermind! Haw haw haw!"
Of course, I couldn't resist walking back to the guy and his girlfriend and telling them: yes, I am nearly blind and yes, my glasses are big for my face but yes, they do have a prescription.

Apparently they do this a lot, and this is the first time they've encountered someone who actually needed their oversized frames. It was satisfying to put these goons in their place but at the same time, I don't really disagree with their principle.

What the fuck is up with people wearing frames when they don't need them? Has it really come to this, where I have to defend myself on the street for wearing glasses? HEY GUY IN THE WHEELCHAIR - YOU REALLY NEED THAT WHEELCHAIR?

Attention: you assholes are not only pretending you are handicapped, but you are also making things more difficult for the eyesight-impaired. You are making life harder for the blind. You are cruel, sick fucks.

I saw a dude riding a bicycle today and the dude was wearing a helmet. The dude, however, did not clip the helmet. It was perched precariously on top of his head, incredibly close to facing helmet oblivion. At a red light, I saw the guy adjust the helmet - just adjusted it and sat at the red light with the straps hanging sadly to the sides like sad basset hound ears.

What in the motherfucking fuck! It's one thing not to wear a helmet at all, but to HAVE ONE ON YOUR HEAD AND COMPLETELY NEGATE ITS ENTIRE PURPOSE? Is he so devoid of any concept of basic physics that he truly believes the helmet will cling to his head and protect him from the bloody massacre of his skull if he were to fly over his handlebars and onto the pavement? Or is he such a goon that he thinks it's just way more cool to wear a shitty looking helmet that nobody else would wear unless his or her LIFE DEPENDED ON IT?

That guy deserves to hit the curb, have some of the curb ground up into tiny dust particles and sprinkled into his eyeballs, get curb stomped and then maybe get thrown into a lake for good measure. Fuck! FUCK!

Also: shout out to Donkey Kong Country for SNES. It's still good!